At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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