That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
