dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
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