Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
