booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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