Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize