she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
