we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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