College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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