why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
