3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
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I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
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Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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