I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
