She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
