forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
