@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
