We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so explain again why im purple
no
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
