I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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