Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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