You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
