Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
