Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize