Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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