We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
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I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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