sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
