you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
