Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
