Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
