Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
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hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
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I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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