Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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