There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize