I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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