white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
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Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
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I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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