; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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