Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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