I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
