My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
