I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
