i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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