I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
