Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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