Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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