i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
