Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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