i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
