I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
