the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
