He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
