Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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