We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can I color on your dick again?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
