Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
