I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
