My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I got inside last night via doggy door
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
