She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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