Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize