It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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