we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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