u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
we should paint friendship bongs
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