Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i wish my penis had a tongue
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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