i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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