Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
whose parrot is this?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
