Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
