Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
