He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
