I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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