I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
