party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
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Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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