Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
