i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
