Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
