Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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